HORRIFIC ASSAULT: PASTOR WADEN ATTACKS MCDONALD'S EMPLOYEE

In a shocking turn of events, local pastor Waden was observed assaulting a McDonald's employee during a busy shift yesterday afternoon. Eyewitnesses report that the altercation began when Waden became agitated about his order. The McDonald's employee, who remains unnamed, tried to calm Waden down, but Waden quickly escalated the situation. Witness